The Lord speaks...

Two things have been on my mind lately.

The first thing stems from my solo backpacking trip a took a few days before I came back to school and it is this: Rob Bell did a tour called "Everything is Spiritual" and I had not seen it at the time of this trip but I remembered the small heading under the title as I my mind moved on the topic: there is no word in the Hebrew language for "spiritual." Immediate thoughts come to mind, many of them, but the idea that really surfaced with me is that things have changed. I understand the culture of that time revolved around religion and I am ok with the fact that this culture I live in doesn't. The problem I face is more of a cultural problem that I look at on my own personal level. Where along the way did I get the idea that a spiritual life is somehow separate from all other facets of my life? I have been under this cloudy confusion that my relationship with God is just that, a relationship. I sat up late in my sleeping bag alone in the wilderness wrestling with this idea that all things fall under the realm of God. I have split things up and moved from activity to activity, changing my mindset for each. I go into family gatherings somewhat apathetic and into competition with a fiery head and a fiery tongue yet I go into church with a quiet heart and a smile on my face. Why have a split these things up? Why has my life been divided? As I looked out into the dark forest, I noted in my mind that my family very much has an impact on my spirituality. My neglect of them leads to coldness in my heart and over my break from college, I saw it and I worked to change it. I was richly blessed with the few weeks I spent with them and I think it is due to understanding their value and investing in it. I have come to see that my life is a reflection of my spirituality, much because my faith is not religion, it is lifestyle. Therefore, every aspect of my life has sanctions on my faith. Perhaps that contradicts itself and what I have been saying, but it is making sense to me. Ultimately, God has opened my eyes to the fact that there is much more than myself. There are divine moments waiting every day and it is a privaledge to take advantage of these and much more: a blessing. A blessing because these seemingly trivial conversations with others and experiences with my family shape and mold my view of the world and my personal culture, which in turn defines my view of my creator. Rob Bell says it best when talking about this idea of interacting with people in his book Sex God: "How we treat the creation reflects how we feel about the creator." The context is somewhat different but the point is the same. My investing in others lives and the causes of what is around me directly affects how I feel about God and how I respond to the things He is working to do in my life.

The second thing is on a different note, more of a resolution to a struggle. My struggle is this passion and fire of God. I have experienced God on many levels and whenever I slide down and get smacked with the world, I long for a mountain-top experience that will lead me back up to this closeness with God. I know this is a sad way to live life but, for the longest time, I just didnt have a solution to staying on fire for the Lord. I was reading my Bible and studying but I just wasnt pleased and could not keep my focus and fervor. It has only been of late that this has begun to bog me down. I started this semester clicking on every aspect of my life, all things were good but over the past two weeks I have kept up with self-discipline and my studies and taking care of my body but all these things havent translated into contentment or encouragement. Until a few nights ago. My first solution was a realization that I have been reading the New Testament only, which isnt a bad thing but for what I need it was. I have been smothering myself with teaching and law and ideas and concepts. That last sentence pretty much sums it up...boring. I will say the content of those ideas if rich and meaningful but in the same light, I have had nothing to counter that with pure goodness. Also, my problem has been the idea of closeness to God and how I view Him in my life so I was just slammed with something called the Old Testament. The OT just grabs me with this glorious poetry that spins God in a marvelous light. These seem to grab me and pull me in much like a spiritual high but as similar as it is, it is also much different. It seems to stick with me and not just come and go like the mountain top. The words of the prophets, Psalms, and numerous other books in the Old Testament resonate with power of who God is.

In Job, the Lord waits for a long time to finally speak to Job and his friends that are bickering with him but when He does is is overflowing with humbling power, in chapter 38 starting in the first verse:

Then the Lord answered Job out of the storm. He said: "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the Earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone - while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb, when I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in its think darkness, when I fixed the limits for it and set its doors and bars in place, when I said, 'This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt'? Have you ever given orders to the morning, or shown the dawn its place?

It goes on through the rest of that chapter and the next three after that. God just pounds Job with questions similar to the ones above. He asked him if he can alter constellations and pretty sarcastically asked him to tell him so surely he knows. How humbled I am to read these words. Who am I to ever stand up so bold to God for I will only sink to read this passage and be reminded of the true power of my God.

The most glorious part of this passage, to me, is the part that is in bold. "Brace yourself like a man." Goosebumps. This precursor to what God is about to say just hammers down like a gauntlet on my soul. That alone is a humbling experience, to think about God telling you to brace yourself like a man then go on to tell you that you will respond to what He says.

May I always see that God is a being of glory and power and that I am never close to reaching that majesty. He is the King of kings and the Old Testament reveals that in a very blatant light. I am thankful for this because understanding this God can only come from this knowledge of Him that is experienced during the time of His hand at work with the Israelites. He is revealed in such a raw fashion that simply sits me down and says "I am God" and I am so very thankful for the power that rings from those three words.