"Can we sing?"

Honestly, I don't have words for this week. I am trying to put this down so I can come back to it one day to reflect on one of the greatest weeks of my life. I have been reformed this week; i have seen my LORD again and again working this week, showing himself to me through others. I have been hit from every direction with the Spirit and it is so contagious. I was skeptical about Harding from the beginning and as of 3 weeks ago, my plan was to do one year here then transfer. Then about 5 days later I decided maybe sticking it out for two years would do it. On Sunday, I confessed to my grandmother while doing laundry that its gonna three but of course I gave her the disclaimer that this time next week things will probably be different. I was right. I plan on graduating in black and gold and honestly it has nothing to do with academia here. It is purely the relationships that I have made this past week and the things that have done. I find myself in spontaneous acts of pure worship with so many different groups of people. Big group, small group of upperclassmen, boys in my hall, girls older than me. God has used everyone this week to show me how awesome He is. I think of the verse where God talks of how everything is good during the creation. The final thing that He creates and deems good is man and woman. I don't think I have ever thought much of that verse but for some reason, I have a new respect for that because of the different people I have met and have come to know that they are good. I think 'good' is such a loaded word and to see it in the flesh as God made it is a powerful thing.

I don't know where I am going, what I am doing but I know that I am going to be taken care of. I am listening to a song with lyrics that really just move me as I write this: 'How refreshing to know you don't need me, how amazing to find that you want me." I think to the title of my blog and the chapter of Rob Bell's book where he talks of how the apostles did not choose Jesus. They did not seek him out to follow him, instead He chose them. He came for them, asking them to follow him. He showed the world that even this group of fishermen, traitors, radicals, and men like me can follow Him because we are good. Tonight, this morning, whatever it is...I feel that I am truly wanted by God.

I look back on the times in my life when I felt close to God and it seems that they have been major events. I tend to think that they were spiritual highs which in themselves are not a bad thing at all, but what you do with them is the catch. I have fizzled too many times. I have never had consistency in my faith, I jump from big event to big event and try to just hang on in the middle of them. God showed me this week that He is really a simple God. He moves through the simplicity of life and the stillness of life. As I sat with friends I have had for years, some for weeks and some for no more than 48 hours...I find myself connected to them all purely through Him. It is simple and that is how God intended it and that was revealed to me tonight. My hope tonight is that God will continue to work here, in this school and in this freshman student. May he use me and the week I have had to live consistently and with purpose. May I live a simple life, always striving to worship in any way, with anyone, anywhere. May we continue to simply live lives of worship, uncontrollable and radical, never ceasing and always spreading. I may have no mountaintop experience... but tonight, I am consumed with a mere rooftop.