Reading in a new light

I am writing this entry in my journal while camping at the lake. I am sitting here and a storm is moving in from over the trees across the lake and the heat lightning is picking up. I have always loved heat lightning because it is such an awesome sight to see it fill the sky with silent light. But where there is heat lightning, soon there will be a storm. A storm came, and it came hard. I was with a group from church and I went to the tent where I would be staying. It was a small, cheap tent so I was a little concerned about how it would take the pounding rain and heavy winds. The place we were camped didn't allow us to put the pins in, so the wind was rocking the edge of my tent and I had to settle it with my hand. Next, the rain started getting in the tent because the rain fly was slipping off the back. And to top it all off, the lightning was striking in our camp. Now, if you know me, you know that I do not like lightning in the same general area as I am. I am selfish about my space when it comes to lightning, you could say. So I am sitting in my tent, worried about the lightning and after about 10 minutes of this, a strange peace came over me. If you have seen the movie 'Batman Begins', I want to refer to the part where Bruce returns to his parents home and repels down into the old well in which the bats live. In this scene, he goes to confront the bats and the same thing happens to him as it did when he was young: The bats flew out and scared him, and he fell down. But this time, he didn't stay down. He stood up and the bats flew around him, not touching him. That is how I felt last night in the tent. Although just about anything could penetrate that tent, I felt as though I was untouchable. Strange are the ways God works sometimes, and yes I do think it was God that brought that peace over me. He is constantly taking care of us and showing us we have nothing to fear.

Now, as I said earlier, I wrote in my actual journal while camping since I was without a computer. I say that to tell you about my journal. It has a Bible verse on each page and I found it ironic, coincidental, whatever you want to call it, that the verse was what it was. It was from Proverbs 19:21:

Manys are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that
prevails.

I find this ironic because it is just the verse I need to listen to at this point in my life. I need to give my plans to God. So many times I hear about people just opening their Bible to a verse that changes their life and I always wish that something like that would happen to me, to kind of be a sign to me. Now, I decided that was selfish and that it doesn't really show faith on my part. But, this verse being in my journal is the closest experience I have that could be called one the events I explained above. It spoke to me, and maybe just because it is so relevant at this point in my life. I am sure that I have read a verse hundreds of times and continued reading, but at some point I will look at it in a new light and it will have a new meaning to me because of my changing life. That is what this was last night, because it is what I needed. I have so much on my mind and that stress really took its toll on me on Monday. I kinda just broke down and got mad at God because things weren't going my way, but then I was blessed with a wonderful week and then had this verse put in front of me. I think it was God's way of telling me "You know, I am always going to be here. But its life, you cant depend on yourself to make it through. Stick with me, we can do it together." Then I think, where would I be without God? What chance in this world would I have? And yet, we still take him for granted but take a moment to think on just one word and what role it plays in your life: GRACE. A beautiful thing God made for everyone, for me, for you. No matter how far away we get from God, how angry we become with him...he is always there to take us back.