Muslims have it down...

I'll start off with a quote from a song by DC Talk: The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

This quote is kind of crazy to think about, almost paradoxical. How is is that Christians, in serving others and doing things to the glory of God, push people away from religion entirely? What if you were to examine the lives of 10 of your friends that claim to be Christians...what would the results be like? Don't get me wrong, I am not condemning people or judging but think of those that claim to follow God, yet show no reflection of him in their life. How are people supposed to come to know the good and true God when they see "his followers" living the lives they do. Maybe we should reconsider our lives. Let's go with the title of the blog somewhat. If you were in front of a camera 24 hours a day, as if for some reality TV show, what would the viewers think of you? How would the episode from Sunday morning compare to the episode of Friday night? Any contradictions found in your life?

Why is that? Why do people claim Jesus, then in no way live a life for him? In this society, to claim Jesus is expected, but to live like him is not. Maybe that is it, that is the problem. People conform to what the world says. That may be cliche, but don't tell me it isn't true. What happened to living for your convictions, no fear of persecution for your beliefs? The new testament is full of it, yet we can't seem to follow those thoughts. If I say that, then why cant I ask why Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden? This is the wonderful fault in being human...We have a choice. Wonderful in that we are not robots, we are not puppets, but can think and live on our own. But a fault because there is wrong in the world, much more than there is right. Wide is the path to destruction, narrow is the road that leads to heaven. Such a true statement in regards to our world. God gave us the choice to do what we please, so why then would we live this life that he has given us in total disrespect to him? How can we find ourselves completely ignoring this book that he has provided us with, to teach us, guide us in our lives? A choice...Many choices, every single one changing the course of our life, either for the good or the bad.

The religions of the middle east are intriguing to me. Not because of their radical thinking, or the god they worship, really I don't agree with the religion. I guess I should say I respect the following of the religion. They live a life in service to their god. Everything they do is to honor the one who they believe gives them life. Of course I don't, as I said, agree with their beliefs, but the devotion they show is commendable. They would easily martyr themselves for their god because they will be rewarded. What reward do we get in standing up for beliefs? Ridicule? Someone making fun? And we stay away from being our own person for that?? Where would we stand if our life were on the line? God gave us life, he gave us the choice to live how we may, but it all points back to him and his love for us. Why cant we simply live a life of love for him? I guess that is what I find...Unbelievable.

Reading in a new light

I am writing this entry in my journal while camping at the lake. I am sitting here and a storm is moving in from over the trees across the lake and the heat lightning is picking up. I have always loved heat lightning because it is such an awesome sight to see it fill the sky with silent light. But where there is heat lightning, soon there will be a storm. A storm came, and it came hard. I was with a group from church and I went to the tent where I would be staying. It was a small, cheap tent so I was a little concerned about how it would take the pounding rain and heavy winds. The place we were camped didn't allow us to put the pins in, so the wind was rocking the edge of my tent and I had to settle it with my hand. Next, the rain started getting in the tent because the rain fly was slipping off the back. And to top it all off, the lightning was striking in our camp. Now, if you know me, you know that I do not like lightning in the same general area as I am. I am selfish about my space when it comes to lightning, you could say. So I am sitting in my tent, worried about the lightning and after about 10 minutes of this, a strange peace came over me. If you have seen the movie 'Batman Begins', I want to refer to the part where Bruce returns to his parents home and repels down into the old well in which the bats live. In this scene, he goes to confront the bats and the same thing happens to him as it did when he was young: The bats flew out and scared him, and he fell down. But this time, he didn't stay down. He stood up and the bats flew around him, not touching him. That is how I felt last night in the tent. Although just about anything could penetrate that tent, I felt as though I was untouchable. Strange are the ways God works sometimes, and yes I do think it was God that brought that peace over me. He is constantly taking care of us and showing us we have nothing to fear.

Now, as I said earlier, I wrote in my actual journal while camping since I was without a computer. I say that to tell you about my journal. It has a Bible verse on each page and I found it ironic, coincidental, whatever you want to call it, that the verse was what it was. It was from Proverbs 19:21:

Manys are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that
prevails.

I find this ironic because it is just the verse I need to listen to at this point in my life. I need to give my plans to God. So many times I hear about people just opening their Bible to a verse that changes their life and I always wish that something like that would happen to me, to kind of be a sign to me. Now, I decided that was selfish and that it doesn't really show faith on my part. But, this verse being in my journal is the closest experience I have that could be called one the events I explained above. It spoke to me, and maybe just because it is so relevant at this point in my life. I am sure that I have read a verse hundreds of times and continued reading, but at some point I will look at it in a new light and it will have a new meaning to me because of my changing life. That is what this was last night, because it is what I needed. I have so much on my mind and that stress really took its toll on me on Monday. I kinda just broke down and got mad at God because things weren't going my way, but then I was blessed with a wonderful week and then had this verse put in front of me. I think it was God's way of telling me "You know, I am always going to be here. But its life, you cant depend on yourself to make it through. Stick with me, we can do it together." Then I think, where would I be without God? What chance in this world would I have? And yet, we still take him for granted but take a moment to think on just one word and what role it plays in your life: GRACE. A beautiful thing God made for everyone, for me, for you. No matter how far away we get from God, how angry we become with him...he is always there to take us back.

Pick just one word

I get so angry at myself sometimes, because I don't write down things when I think of them. So many times ideas and thoughts come to me, but I am a very absent minded person. In one ear, out the other... Hopefully they will come to me again, because when I thought of them I really got excited about sharing them, but now I can't remember most of them. One thing I did recall from my last few days out of town is thinking about death and some things along with it. I was in a class and the question was asked: If you could have only one word on your grave, what would it be? That really made me think. What one word could define an entire life? How could I sum up all that I have been through in a matter of a few letters? I started thinking hard about that as people in the circle answered the question and as the line grew shorter as it neared my seat. The girl right before me, Rachel, answered the question quickly with the word 'faith'. I thought that to be interesting. I decided on the word 'loved'. In my mind, it seemed that the word loved would sum up a good life lived. Then my brain really started going. (This is a benefit of my ADD that I am positive I have. I think of something which leads to the next thing, which gets my thinking about another idea and so on and so on. Ultimately, I bounce around on a lot of ideas). But, as I said, my head started turning and I thought on the idea of why people get so upset when one dies. Of course, because you will never seem them again in a physical sense and it is our nature to be distraught over death. But what I was thinking about is why do deaths impact so many lives? The thought that came to me sounded a little weird, but maybe you can work with me. Death reflects life. The amount of sorrow that comes in the event of someone's death, in my opinion, is because of the life they led. What an awesome privilege we have to live and to impact others, to make friends, to love. To lose one who did these things to the fullest is going to be extremely hard. But, the challenge is to let these people live on. The laughs they gave us, the tears they shed, the life they lived...Why let it die when it meant so much. A girl at my school died this past year and the night it happened was one of the most heartwrenching experiences in my life. People at the church crying hysterically and I was one of them soon after. How could God let this happen to someone like her? She impacted so many in her life, but what of her death? In the months after she died, people changed. People changed for her. Everyone was touched by the life she led and they didn't want her to go, so they made the decision to let her live through them. They would do the things she did, they would love and laugh like she did. They would carry on the beauty of life that she was. And, yes, death is a horrible thing. But what an awesome thought to know that not only is she in a better place, but because of her...A few more will be joining her.

Google and Arrows

Lately, I have felt like I am on some sort of an adventure, searching for something. I don't know what that something is, but I know that I need to find it. Now, I know this is spiritual, but in what aspect. Something about God that I am looking for. Not so much a needle in a haystack, but a definitely not a toddler Easter egg hunt. Something of God's nature is calling out to me and I cant figure it out. Ill be honest, this entry is mainly for me as I type right now, but maybe my thoughts will unfold into something useful to you. Back to my point, in the world today if I were looking for something than I would probably be told to 'google it'. It is so easy to find easy things in this society, but what about the hard things. I'll have to search within me. This, my friends, is not something to be found on the internet. It would be easy if I could type in God and Brett in the little white bar and find what I need from the blue text it would give me. That won't happen. I am looking for something deep, something ill find on my own. I am not saying that im completely self-dependent and can figure it out all on my own, but this one is calling me and me alone. God wants me to come after him, a chase I suppose. But what is at the end? Not so much a chase to catch God, because we can never just catch God and understand all things. I chase to where he will lead me, is what this is. Hopefully, I can find what God intends for me at this point in my life. Right now, I have things on my heart that need to be settled, things in my life that need to be tamed, issues that hold me back from the adventure God has planned for me. In speculation, maybe this adventure is the rest of my life. I have built a foundation with God, a genuine relationship and now he challenges me to face the arrows of life as they come, but as the Bible says in Hebrews 12: "...throw off everything that hinders us and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Maybe that verse is the verse that speaks to me at this point in my life. As I write this, I am questioning myself...I think things are kind of unfolding here in this room full of bouncy balls that I call my brain. Now that I have committed, I may start to face trials due to my commitment and God is challenging me to keep up...just keep up.

Passion

I think that there is one main difference between the typical Christian who just goes to church and "punches his/her card" and between the Christian who geniunly strives to know God. Of course there are many, but lately I think this is a huge issue that splits the two groups. It is a matter of vulnerability. Those who can make themselves vulnerable to other believers are able to grow with each other, and in doing that, they grow closer to God. In this society, so many people are afraid to make themselves vulnerable, to put themselves out there, to say what they honestly think or believe. In essence, afraid of rejection. I think that one of the best ways to grow in your faith is to open you heart to someone. Now, I dont mean while walking down the street, because then I think that you will experience the rejection that so many fear. Find a friend that will listen and want to understand you. In my most honest opinion, that is the key to growth. It will truly break your heart and through talking with someone close to you, hopefully you will find an avenue to a deeper relationship with God. Again, I ramble a lot but hopefully you can pull it all together as you read. But I think that a lack of openness from people hinders them from experience the greatness of God, because how are they expected to know him if they do not give him all of their mind AND heart?

Secondly (on a different note), as a teen who has grown up in the church, I have been to many retreats, camps, etc. and I have found that so many times at these events, the speakers blister the crowd with a lesson of morals. Dont get me wrong morals are key, of course. When I was around the age of 15, I really felt burnt out by the church and I feel that because in camps, classes and any other spiritual event, all they did was condemn such things. I think that teens need to hear thoughts on passion and love and relationship. While im at it, people of all ages need to come to terms with that. So many times we worry about overstepping the boundaries that the church sets for us and we find no time for growth with God. Lately, I have found that growth is a key part in a true relationship with God. I can be a good person and not love God, there are people like that. So what good does it do to hammer in a message of behave and dont do this, dont do that to people when even if they heed this message, they still are at odds with God because they dont know him. One word that has been stuck in my head this summer is passion. I want to have a passion for God. A fire, a burning to know him. With that, I think everything else will fall into line. To find a loving relationship with God is at the top of an imaginary list of importance in ones spiritual walk. If achieved, I think all other issues in your faith in God will become more clear and more present in your life.

Imagery

What would we do without imagery. Not just the literary term, used in writing but what about mountains, stars, valleys, forrests. We take it for granted alot. What about walking along the beach? Its so awesome to experience these places. I have found a new love for outdoors after my experience at Trek. The icy rivers freezing my hands when I fill up my nalgene at sunset...such an awesome total experience. Two deer running through camp during our devo..we take things such as this for granted so much. Take advantage of these things...because what would we do without them? Imagine how empty the world could be, then look outside and see how full that God has made it..

Fork in the Road

So this is my first attempt at writing, then again its not really for you. It's for me, but you have the luxury, maybe, to read it. I guess the first thing I should say is in regards to the name of the blog here. Lights...Camera...Live. Now this is live as in living, not live as in SNL. I feel a lot that the world is a stage and we are just puppets. But, we have the chance to break free. I believe there comes a time in everyones life when you hit the 'fork in the road'. For me, I have been stuck at it, off and on, for a while. Regarding college choice..my life seemed for the longest time to be heading in a straight shot for one place, but late last night I found myself. I have developed a longing to get away, to leave. I want to go somewhere new, meet new people, become a new person. Its so easy to go where you are 'supposed' to go, cause you know people and you get dropped right in. I dont want that. I want a chance to be my own person, I always have been and to get away is key.

I went on a Wilderness Trek recently with my church and on the glorious Mt. Antero in Colorado, I think I found myself. I have been wrapped up in the author Donald Miller lately. His books really make me think about life, God, and everything that goes with it. I never read much, but lately I cant put books down. They are opening my eyes and I think God is using them to talk to me. To open my eyes about my life and where I am going, what I am doing. Hopefully, it will all be revealed to me what to do. But, this week in the mountains was a kick start to my matured faith, I think. So many times I will come home from a retreat or a camp and feel so charged and on fire for God, but soon after getting home I fall right back into my old life. Not this time, I vowed before I set foot on that mountain, even aloud to my group, that this was going to impact me. I knew God was going to use that week and he did, no doubt in my mind. It didnt charge me and fire me up, it set me on fire. I know this is a lot of rambling and all over the place, off the walls kind of writing but I my heart and mind are all over the place as I write this. I will attempt to tune my writing skills for the enjoyment of the reader, but for now...enjoy this. Its what is happening with me today. Ill try to share more thoughts about things in general, but I felt I needed to write this somewhere. In conclusion, I feel close to God yet still am lost. I believe patience is the key and God will reveal what he has planned...but ill try to keep writing.